It Happens Subtly

I am sure that you can think of a lot of things that happened subtly. But this post is about the healing that takes place after a deep loss or hurt.  The healing process following a deep hurt or devastating loss happens in a lot of stages.  And although forgiveness of the parties involved and forgiveness of our own part is the main goal, there are so many emotions and other factors that play into healing.

Because I am such an emotional person and I tend to ramble when I get emotional, I am going to copy and paste a blog post that my husband wrote today.  While not all of it is relevant to me, a large part of it is.  Thinking back to where I was almost 2 years ago emotionally and spiritually to where I am at today is like night and day.  So as you read my amazing husband’s words, realize that they also come from my heart. And yes I cried, both as I read his post and as I typed mine. But that is just part of who I am!

It was about 2 years ago when I first came to FBC Macon looking for a place to heal.  My wife and I had been through a terrible battle within the church and to be honest I did not know what was going to happen next in our lives.  The only thing I knew is that I wanted to find a place where we would be loved and where I could sit under sound teaching.  These two fundamentals were vital for me.  After serving as a pastor for 15 years I wanted to just blend in for once.  For once I did not want to be known as a pastor and I did not want the junk that I had thought went along with it.  To say we were beat up I think would really be an understatement.  However this post is not to focus on what has happened elsewhere but I write to focus on what God has done since that time in our lives.

You see when we first came to Macon I did not want anyone to know that I used to be a youth pastor.  In fact I sat in my Sunday school class for months without telling them my background or what I had done for a living for the previous years.  Yet week after week we felt loved and wanted and accepted.  Not because I was a pastor but for who we were.  Week in and week out I had a tremendous opportunity to sit under solid Bible teaching that challenged me often.  After a few months I decided it was  time to be involved in the church.  However, I firmly believe you become a member and then you get involved.  So we became member.

I can’t even begin to tell you the tremendous amount of love we have felt from our church family.  I can’t even tell you about all the times people have come and encouraged me or told me they were praying for me.  I have been moved in ways that has just been overwhelming.  The other night as I stood in the pulpit to preach my sermon it almost did not feel real.  As I took time to thank the church for all they have done it also hit me like a ton of bricks that one day I would move on.

I have made so many friends in this church.  I have great relationships with the pastors of this church and even as I write this I am sad.  I love it here.  I love the people and to be honest I never want to leave.  However God has placed a call on my life and to be disobedient is not an option.

Thank you so much Macon FBC for all you have done.  I do not know how much longer I have hear sometimes I wish it was a lot longer.  But this church will never know how much it has touched me.  It will never know the healing it has brought to my family.  The people of this church have displayed the Love of Christ to me in ways I have never seen before.  In addition to that I have had the awesome privilege to be on staff here.  First as the intern youth pastor and currently as the interim children’s pastor.  Thank you for loving my family, and giving me an opportunity to serve.  Whatever happens in the future I love this church and they will always have a special place in my heart.

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