church · family · josh · life


Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles,  They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. ~Isaiah 40:28-31

For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. ~Galatians 6:8-10

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. ~Hebrews 12:2-3

I am weary.  I am physically, mentally and emotionally fatigued, although it is mostly mentally and emotionally and not so much physical.  The past 18-18 months have been some of the hardest months of my life, but the past 10 or so have been the most trying.    

If you did not know, we have been living with my mother-in-law since June.  It has been a long 7 months! Please don’t misunderstand, I love my mother-in-law and we get a long great.  Out of most of my adult girlfriends, I would say that we have one of the best relationships.  But adult children were not meant to live with their parents. Especially not when they have been on their own for over 10 years. And especially not when they have a wife and two children of their own.  I am so grateful that my mother-in-law took us in when my dh had no job or income. And I am so thankful that she has helped us stay on our feet these last months.  But it is still very hard to live here.  I don’t feel like I have my own house; I am not comfortable cleaning or rearranging things; I don’t cook dinner anymore.  I can see a huge difference in my 9 year olds attitude since we moved in and it is not a good change.  There are days that I just have to take the baby and retreat to my room.  And there are days that I feel that that is all my life as been reduced to, a room!  And although I am so thankful and appreciative of my mother-in-laws support I will be so glad when I once again have my own house (may be soon!).

My husband still does not have a job.  Or maybe I should say once again he has no job.  Because he had a job and then they had to downsize and since he was one of the newest hires he was one of the ones let go.  It was kind of bittersweet.  On one hand it was hard becasue we could really use the income as our bank account is low; lower than it has ever been before.  But on the other hand, it was a blessing because we have really started to see God work in this area.  We both feel that God is telling and showing us that it will not be much longer before Josh is offered a position. We just aren’t sure where He is telling or showing us that that position is!  At this moment we have 3 churches that have narrowed us down to their final candidates. At one church, we are one of four. At one of the other churches we are in their top few as well (not sure where) and we just sent them our family introduction video. And at the final church, we are their main candidate and will more than likely be going for an extended weekend shortly.  And then there is another church that has actually thought about hiring Josh as the interim while they are searching.  So God is beginning/continuing to work and it has been great to see!

I am weary. But I will not give up or give in. I know that the Lord will give me strength and guidance to persevere. Isaiah 40:28-31 tells me so and I believe it! He will renew me, He will give me wisdom, He will give me strength, and He will give me understanding when I need it. I am trusting in the Lord!

I received this e-mail prayer from a lady that I really only know a little and have limited contact with.  But it really touched me; that she would take the time to respond to me and to actually pray for me meant a lot. I have printed it out and keep it tucked inside my Bible where I can pull it out and read it when I need reminding!

May the Lord continue to bless you and your husband and guide you in your every decision. I offer up this prayer for you from Eph 3:16-21 in the Amplified Bible:

Lord, may You grant Tzigane, out of the rich treasury of Your glory, to be strengthened and reinforced with mighty power in her inner man by the Holy Spirit Himself indwelling her innermost being and personality. 

May Christ, through Tzigane’s faith actually dwell, settle down, abide and make His permanent home in her heart! May she be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that she may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp, with all God’s devoted people, the experience of that love-what is the breadth and length and height and depth of it; that Tzagane may really come to know practically, through experience for herself, the love of Christ which far surpasses mere knowledge without experience; that she may be filled through all her being with the richest measure of the divine Presence and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself!

Now to Him, Who, by the action of His power that is at work within Tzigane, is able to carry out His purpose and do superabundantly far
over and above all that I dare ask or think-infinitely beyond my highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams-to Him be glory in the
church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever.
Amen-so be it! 


One thought on “Weary

  1. Hang in there…. I know what it is like to live with your mother in law, as my family and I lived with mine for about 1 year while we were building our home in PA!!! We lived in the downstairs portion of her ranch home, where we had our own kitchen, bath, bedroom, etc. So, it was not that bad. It still was not my OWN and I was so thankful when we finally moved into our new home. Best of luck to you and your family and I will keep you in my prayers!!

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