life · pain

Forgiveness- Stolen Post

Yes, I stole this post from someone else and I hope they will forgive me for it! LOL!

I am sure that some are not aware and i am sure there are those who would disagree, but my husband is a pretty intelligent and insightful guy.  Especially when it comes to scripture, teaching the word of God, and applying the Bible to your life.  Sometimes his insights really astound me. And he is pretty good at wording things (minus some typos and missed puncuation).  So that is why I stole this post from him.  It is a great post that really speaks of his heart.  Hope you enjoy it!

Yesterday was a busy day for me.  I spent the day seeing patients for the first time and spent the day with several people.  I had a good day it was fun to spend time with some people yet at the same time difficult knowing that these people are in the last days of their lives. 

I enjoyed my time with one patient in particular.  We took time to look at an old car magazine together and I read to him about some of the cars.  We looked at the prices of some of the cars when they first came out and I shared with him what the horsepower was.  Even though he could not speak well enough fro me to understand him I could see in his expression and in his eyes that he liked the fact that I took the time to be with him.  It saddened me to know that perhaps this guy had a very little interaction with men now that he was in a nursing home and more then likely he was lonely and wanted a man to just show some interest in him and who he was.  I knew he liked cars because he had a picture of an old car hanging on his board.  My time with him was valuable.

However, this got me to thinking.  What would it be like to talk to someone and to know that they can not understand you.  I know his mind works but it must be difficult to know you can not communicate in a way that people understand you.  For some reason my thoughts turned to forgiveness.  What would it be like to want to say to someone “I forgive you yet not be able to”.  How difficult that must be.

My thoughts have turned to my father.  My father was alcoholic and that is really all I knew him as.  In fact it was a rare moment that my father was sober.  I remember the yelling and the screaming I remember the violent way he behaved when he was drunk.  I could not stand it.  I wanted an escape a way out.  Eventually my mother and father were divorced and I rarely saw my dad.  It got to the point where I never say him and in fact did not even know where he was.  I remember when my dad first found where I was and I m in that first letter he wrote and asked if I would ever be able to forgive him.  My response was “dad I forgave you long ago”  It was barely a year later that my father was murdered on the street of Arizona for a measly 11 dollars.  But what if I had never had the opportunity to tell him I forgave him and what I he never had the opportunity to ask.

This has been on my mind.  Forgiveness can be a powerful thing and I am so thankful that I have been forgiven by Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful for the grace that is experienced through the blood of Jesus Christ.  It took me a long time to get to the point where have forgiven some in my old congregation and how things were handled.  In fact if I am honest bitterness began to take root in me.  Do I agree with how things were handled?  The answer is a resounding no.  Do I forgive how things were handled the answer is yes.  I did not want to forgive but God began to break me and I got to the point where I knew without forgiveness my life would eventually be useless in the hands of the potter.  Now perhaps there are those that think they have done nothing wrong but regardless of the fact I forgive, and have forgiven those that have hurt me.  I pray God’s grace may abound.

I also know that in my life I am not so naive to think that I do not need forgiveness.  I know I have screwed up many times and many times my errors have hurt others maybe those I have hurt will forgive me.  This I know without forgiveness we are not following Christ.  It would be a terrible thing to want to tell someone you forgive them and not be able to say a thing.  

Tomorrow I will spend some time with a man that will most likely be dead very soon I am responsible for his spiritual care.  What would it be like to pass away without forgiving; I pray I never know.

 Obviously this post spoke to me as well, otherwise I wouldn’t have reposted it here for you to read.  Forgiveness is an issue that my husband and I have been dealing with for some time now. Sometimes it is really easy to forgive someone else for something they have done to you and sometimes it is really easy to ask for fforgiveness for your offense. And sometimes it is not.  

Thanks, Josh, for your insights and wisdom. I love you and thank God every day that you are a part of my life.


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